The Fear of Rejection
Recently I asked a young lady out on a date. A lady who, in my opinion, was well above my range. (I’m a 6 at best, while she easily hovers between a 9 and a 10.) But I asked her out, and oddly enough she said yes.
We enjoyed a week of text messages, phone calls, and friendly flirtations as our date neared, and I thought to myself, “Good job Stan! You overcame your fear of rejection.”
Then the day for our date came. I texted her early that day to say “Hello”, and never received an answer back. As the day went on and minutes turned into hours without a reply, the realization that I was about to be stood up became evident. And as the time at which we were to begin our date came and passed without a single text message or phone call from her, it became a fact.
I was stood up.
Stan Way was stood up for a date.
The emotions which swirled inside of me confused me.
Very much so.
Well of course I was hungry! I’m a chubby guy and my dinner plans were shot to heck!
But at the age of 28 I was stood up for the first time in my life. And without a warning no less.
I quickly called my best friend and ended up spending the evening with him and our full-time missionaries teaching another young man about the Gospel.
Eventually during the course of the evening the young woman texted me with a reason for not being able to go on our date. The reason, while questionably acceptable, still did not excuse the fact that there had been no warning of my impending loneliness for the night. Perhaps all of the cell phone towers where she was at had gone down all day? Perhaps she’d lost her phone and some ninja zombies had been holding it hostage until late into the evening? I didn’t ask. I remained polite, and when she texted and asked for a “rain check” I didn’t know exactly what to say. However, “Sure! I’d love to get all dressed up to not go out again!” did sarcastically pop into my mind. I didn’t reply with an affirmative or negative reply to her request. I felt I needed to think it over first.
I enjoyed my evening and the opportunity to share my testimony with the testimony of the elders in their lesson. But in the back of my mind the whole night was the fact that I had been rejected. Wholly, totally, and without warning, I had been rejected.
As I got home that night I had a good and long conversation with God and I thanked Him for the rejection.
Although there were a myriad of emotions and thoughts that were troubling me over the fact of having been stood up, I was mostly thankful.
Life’s lessons, even when they are no fun, can be of great benefit if we look at them with the proper perspective.
This video exemplifies that very point.
I could have spent the past few days down in the dumps over having been stood up and rejected. However, as Jia Jiang says so simply, so many “No’s” will only bring you closer to a “Yes”.
In the past few days I have learned a lot about myself and what I am looking for in life. And, like never before, I have found a joy in being rejected.
My future wife is out there, and boy oh boy am I excited for us to be together!
Until then though, I leave you with these four important thoughts.
- Rejection is good for us. As the popular song says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
- We should all follow Jia Jiang’s awesome example. Wow.
- I want to marry someone like Jia Jiang’s wife. Double wow. And…
- Krispy Kreme Doughnuts rock.
I hope that whatever goal, hope, dream, or aspiration you have in your life right now will be something you pursue. Will there be rejection? You better believe there will be! But the rejection itself cannot hurt us, only our response to that rejection can hurt us.
So go take an action step towards the next big phase in your life. I promise you that you’ll be happy that you did.
Meanwhile, I am still trying to figure out whether or not I take rain checks…